I Blame Beyonce!

When i first Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) By Beyonce, I thought "Oh Lawd wait til the kidz get there hands on a video camera and this! Well it didn't take long and I have once again felt like youtube is part of some evil force. Although I like the dancing (I aint gonna lie, they were killing it....even the young fiyah cracker....yall know who im talking about) the song is just not doing it for me. Its sorta like Upgrade U....Meh.



I spotted this though the other day over at Fresh's Crunk Spot While watching it, I immediately thought my screen was going to explode into a package of burning Splenda. He was hitting it but seeing that boney upper torso made me wanna give up on ribs altogether (and me loves BBQ).

AllTheParties BS

OK so a lot of times people will check out Alltheparties to see pictures of celebrities out just chilling and hanging doing some mingling and what not and that is cool right? NO! Most of the time alltheparties is a place to see mass amounts of pure craziness from REGLA people. Some of the people that they have on here are just screaming "Pick me for the new Valtrex campaign as I have the new mega herpes*". This site (and i don't think its on purpose) is also a breading ground for the unfortunate looking to get "exposure" if you will. Like this picture below, I'm sorry but the girl kind of reminded me of Yoshi from Super Mario Brothers. I would not be surprised if she showed up to the party floating on a Yellow Turtle shell.

Someone should tell her that the Suge Knight choke hold is not whats hot in the picture field! Also, Proactive can do for Lil Buddy's face what Martin and Beyonce did for the people! *Side Eye Beyonce*






What the hell is going on here? I hope they were checking Id's because by the looks of these girls I would not be surprised if this was an R-Kelly "I'm not guilty but my bladder is" party!

What ever happened to going to the club/party looking hot? They couldn't have kicked the tissue out the way before taking this picture? Now that i see the tissue I guess my previous guess about this being an R Kelly party is thrown out since Kells only uses human tissue and is the greatest. (I didn't even believe that one myself)



Anyway i don't think my retinas can take much more of the Designz By Helen Keller outfits some of these people decide to wear so I'm gonna go scrape my eyes and hope I don't accidentally Houston myself!



*Mega Herpes-When your herpes have herpes plus crabs.

The Kang of Young Bull Ish

I'm sure if you're like me you wanted to reach through the T.V (or computer screen) and choke/Touch this little hell raiser named Latarian Milton. He was the one who recently got in trouble for stealing his grandmothers car and going for a joy ride causing mass hysteria in Florida. Latarian didn't see the big deal and just chalked it all up as him wanting to do some "Hoodrat stuff". (His words not mine although i did file that under must use later for something) To add insult to injury this same little Pillsbury dough boy got in trouble again for beating up the same grandma at Wal-Mart for not purchasing some "chicken wangs" he ordered at the snack shop. I don't know how many times I would have went upside this Lil dudes head but I would have made sure that after it was all said and done him looking at anything that resemble the words chicken wings would cause him to have a Mariah Carey glitter inspired breakdown.

Anywho this bad fvcker is going to be appearing on Judge Judy because grandma finally said enough! I think its really because she was tired of him breaking into local convenience stores stealing Little Debby cakes and blaming it on the dogs or using all of her cans of old bacon grease as a way to slide into the nearest Wendy's trying to make himself a Double Stack or greasing himself up to make a human slip and slide on her brand new carpet all while trying to do some more hood rat stuff.

Grandma just needs to invest in a new brand of belts that does more than just connect leather with ass. This belt should hide food and replace it with pictures of it. Maybe grandma should promise him a free trip to Denny's if he rides his own damn bike to school and quit taking her car. Will good old fashion ass whoopins please show up?! This kid needs a few!

I will not.....

(I will not accept this story into my brain. No way no how! )

"TAMPA - Police say a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine.Authorities began investigating God Lucky Howard in April, and he was arrested on Saturday. Police say he sold the cocaine to undercover detectives in his neighborhood. When officers searched his home, they reported finding another 22 grams of cocaine and a scale.Jail records show Howard was charged with several counts drug possession and distribution, which include increased charges for being within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing.He was being held on a bond of $86,500." (Source-Dailyhaha)

Why did I turn on the news this morning and hear "God busted for selling crack". I will not tell you how many different facial expressions I went through before i finally said what the hell?! All of that quickly went away when I finally saw this clowns picture.

Jesus Wept

I was sent this little interesting clip and thought i would share the hurt.

TIP DRILL


While i'm a proud member of "Team Chunk" this here....has got my eyes jumping around like Amy Winehouse locked in an evidence locker filled to the roof with some snow.


I.....JUST....CANT....*Faints*

Bat Shit Crazy

Khia.....what can be said about this chick that hasn't already been said about a Monday thong worn since last Sunday? That face you making is the same one i make whenever i see her on anything. Only two words come to mind when i hear her name....




I mean how can someone who was once on the radio with a hit song (even though it was nasty as hell) go to a show called Miss Rap Supreme* and still get voted off the very first episode? (well later that night)I mean that's got to be a slap in the ole dusty mug if i may say so myself. Just sad. Moving along Khia recently exchanged a few heated words with a DJ and some callers when they tried to let her know that she was not the female Tupac.



I think cutting her mic off is not enough but they should have cut her vocal chords off. I think this girl is beyond delirious she lives in her own world where Lil Wayne is the President and there are clones of his peen on every corner. I will say that i give Khia 2 daps from very far away from introducing "Nut Bucket Bitch" to me. Other than that Khia needs more people and not those few callers that seems to think Khia is da bessssss!

The World Is Coming To A End.....

This is what i thought when i got the following link from a few of my Crunk Heathens about a month ago.

Lil Wayne answers your sex questions





*Cue RLY WTF?! image*

I didn't even begin to know where to begin on what was so wrong with this concept. Even though this dude looks like he gets a sexual charge if the words battery acid and grape jelly is mentioned these delirious fools were really asking this dude "SEX QUESTIONS". I just cant and refuse to believe there are people that hung up where they cant go to someone else. I mean watching a dog hump a rim would be better than taking any advice this dude has to offer. If its not a question on how one manages to walk around freely in the rain without protective gear and not turn into a hot steamy pile of motor oil then i don't wanna hear it. When myself and the other Crunk Peeps got a hold of this we had a few questions of our own to ask Weezy Weeze. Around page 44 things start to go a little......left if you will. Some of the questions that were asked were:

PootieSLS Says:

May 7th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Is it a sin to have mirrors in your house?

What type of incents do you use? I heard that Gorilla Mist was a new scent that was being endorsed by you!

Are you and baby planning on releasing some of your “Backyard knucking and bucking oiled up mud naked wrestling” games?

POW POW The Body Says:

May 7th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
is it true that you and Baby have his and his Valtrex prescription tattoos?


moto Says:

May 7th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
when you and superhead had sex, do your STDs fight it out like old west style? or more battlestar galatica style?

Moto ripped through my chest like a butter knife with that one!
(I would like to point out that even though the name on some of those questions bares the name "Pootie Scrawberry Life Saver of PootiesSLS" this is not me. *Adjusts Halo* )

All B.S aside though, this was a real question asked by one of his "fans":

apple tree Says: May 7th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
why is it that men always try to sneak in the back door and why do they think that women like a pinky in/on/ or around the brown eye ?
Its bull $+(_

And on that note I'm going to go bleach my brain!

Somebody Get This Dude A Deal!!!

With all the bull ish being played on the radio nowadays (like "Do The Rack Daddy" and "Get Silly") I happen to think that this Lil dude has what it takes to make about 6 or 7 hit records (And he would still sell more records than Kelly Rowland).
He is responsible for videos like "Crank That Homeless Man" and my all time favorite "Confessions of a Internet Thug"



(Some of yall need to watch the mirror on this.)


Quite frankly all I'm trying to say is that if The Dream singing in his "Girl look at this balling ass football player, i think i wanna have his babies but i cant because my vajayjay is broken" high pitched voice and some clown ass fool talking about "Doing the Rack Daddy" in a club knowing good and damn well the dance came about because he was lifting too many boxes at UPS trying to get the "Slanger Of The Year" award then I'm putting out my own CD. My CD is going to be called "Cut a Bitch: I Don't Care If It Is The Holidays Featuring KeKe Wyatt and Lorena Bobbit.



Watch for that ish Summer 2009!

Do you like Lemonade?

(I don't know who is responsible for this wax figure but all i know is that if there was a tube filled with warm lemonade somewhere around this i am going to dig my own grave and do a back flip into it)

So I bet no one ever thought they would be alive to see the day that Kells "Makes it rain" would ever make it to court for the charges of child porn and whatever else they threw at him. The case went on despite the fact the alleged girl (now old enough to work at a strip club legally) is denying that its her in the clip. The girls Aunt Sparkle (Singer of Better Be Careful) however begged to differ and stated that the girl was in fact her niece. Now one would think Sparkle is upset with Kells because he crossed the line with messing with her then 14 year old niece. But i for one think its probably just because Kells played a mean and cruel joke on her by ordering everything on the MC Donald's menu 3 times and then complained when she forgot 1 apple pie and got her fired from her dream job as order taker. I mean things like that happens all the time but trying to get Kells "Deflowered" is not the way to go especially if your just upset about not being able to take orders. The other thing that had me in awe is the fact that this human lemonade dispenser decided to let his lawyers argue that a mole on his back was not seen in the video there for its not him and it was digitally enhanced. I know Kells sometime looks like he likes Strawberry flavored Windex but i didn't know he also ate glue as an adult. That was the craziest thing i have ever heard.


Kells it's been real son but i hope you get the best hair braider for that nappy head in the county. I heard Big Bernice Willie Jenkins III loves to braid hair for a "small" fee. What that fee is......only Bow Wow knows!

Are You A Bust-It Baby?

After a few months of trying to get my life together nothing says welcome back bitch like this mess here. I am for the most part not shocked by the fact that Flava Flav (I misspelled it on purpose) has inspired PLIES (he did not misspell his name on purpose) to do a show searching for a Bust It Baby. I myself wonder what the hell is a Bust It Baby exactly? Well there was a casting call and some of the weird gremlin liking chicks that didn't get on Flav's show scurried on over to chill with Plies. The clip below is what further lets me know that if you look like you take baths in battery acid and seem to reek of leather boot polish and old hot dog water then you too can be on T.V!





Looking at Plies picture makes my insides hurt so i think i'll take a nap!!

It Was All A Lie?

So after all the allegations and all the information that surfaced because of the original tape Raz-B is seen recanting his story on the whole thing and denying everything that was said.

As we say over at my Crunk Fam Something in the milk definitely ain't clean with this here. He cant even look in the camera this time around and his whole demeanor looks totally different. One could say it's because he know what he did was bogus but one could also think that the apology was BS and something or someone else is behind this. Now i like everybody have heard the whole "The bloods threatened him and made him change his story" and all this other ole hearsay but I'm not going to post that.

All i want is for the Real DeMario ''Raz-B" Thorton to stand up and straighten this out because his credibility is dwindling faster than a concert where Kelly Rowland is a surprise guest singing her whole Ms.Kelly Cd.

The B2K Situation

OK i like everyone else have seen and heard about the B2K and Raz-B thing going on and if you have been living under a rock (or Aretha's second stomach) then here is the recap.

Now there are a whole lot of questions one could raise about this thing but I don't plan on doing that on this site so i will just move on.

Well........one tiny question.....Why was Ricky trying to roll up a blunt during this filming? One can only assume they caught him off guard or something right?

Man i hope so cause that is not a good look at all!

Chris has denied the allegations but who would be surprised at that? Michael Jackson maybe but not me.

All jokes aside this is some sick shit and i hope for the sake of Chris's life he didn't mess with the kids because i could see the punishment for that being crazy. On the other hand i hope Raz-B is not making up anything. That would not be good for his ass either (No Pun intended)

Yung Gangsta!

The Atlanta-based rapper failed to show up at Cleveland Municipal Court for his arraignment Wednesday on a felony charge of carrying a concealed weapon.
Prosecutor Gayle Williams said Joc was considered a fugitive and a judge issued a warrant for the rapper's arrest.
The rapper's attorney, Stanley Jackson, Jr., apologized and explained his client was out of town on personal and family business but stressed that he was maintaining his innocence.
Joc, whose real name is Jasiel Robinson, was arrested at Cleveland Hopkins Airport Sunday, after trying to board a Delta flight to Atlanta with a loaded semiautomatic handgun and ammunition in his carry-on bag.
Joc, 27, told authorities he was unaware the gun was in his luggage. He was released Monday on $50,000 bail.
On Wednesday, Municipal Judge Michael John Ryan doubled the rapper's bond to $100,000. The charge against him could result in a possible sentence of up to 18 months. (courtesy of Yahoo)

OK I have to ask is Yung Jasiel trying to channel his inner Katt Williams or something with this mess? Don't he know T.I is going to have a going away to prison party pretty soon for carrying weapons of mass destruction? I know he didn't think they was going to let him on the plane with that gun especially after seeing him beat himself in the chest with that super size me chain. They were probably jealous but what the hell Joc? Did you forget who you were? You made lyrics like "Any Many Minny Mo" into a song! I mean as the same with The Dream(learning to count to 10) it's very good you learned to pronounce vowels and all of those things at the age of 24 but the world does not need to hear that mess. Take a sugar cookie and move on!

Anyway i would like to see how he will be trying to justify this one. Did someone tell him the man in the seat in front of him in Row 18 seat B (yes he was flying coach) was going to say that his chain was fake? Kinda makes you wonder............Well not really! Just expect to see him blowing up the Mix tape circuit, that's if the judge doesn't blow him up first!

RIP Pimp C

Yesterday was the funeral for Pimp-C in Port Arthur, TX and as expected there were a lot of people who came out to pay their final respects for the fallen artist. You have of course Bun-B, Chamillionaire, Mike Jones, Slim Thug accompanied by LeToya Luckett and many other people. It was a sad occasion I'm sure but there are some things that got my attention with this here gathering. You have people wearing sprayed t-shirts like this was a secret picnic or something. I understand people do certain things when going to church and what have you but I'm sure no where did it say My sons shall rockth Du rags * side eyes chamillionaire* and super blinged out chains *side eyes Mike Jones* and not even attend because you don't want to pass through the metal detectors because you don't want the security at the church confiscating your weed or old camel watering tin that contains whiskey or Professor Klumps magic age decreasing tonic*side eyes Snoop and Jay-Z*.

I mean that in itself was enough but the killer was Bishop Magic Don Juan in the parking lot shifting his pimp hat.

You mean to tell me you couldn't let the hat sit on the night stand for one day? It's already bad enough he has on green nail polish on "ONE" pinkie nail swooshing around the parking lot with his jeepers creepers cap on but man! This is one of those things that make you go.......WTF? I'm pretty sure Don had some of his workers on standby just in case some of the people wanted to release a little........ "tension" if you will.

In the words of Pimp-C himself "Take that monkey shit off, you embarrassing us!"

I happen to heart Chamillionaire but i hope he is taking that Du-Rag off!

Bun-B

Metal detectors huh? Tyler Perry is that you?

Mike Jones looks as if somebody is trying to lure him out of line by promising him some snack pies and another chance at being major. Will he take it is the question.

M.C Supahead?

Not only has Eddie Murphy launched a new record label, Murphy Entertainment, he has found his cornerstone artist: Karrine (Superhead) Steffans, author of "Confessions of a Video Vixen." The rap groupie will release her first album in March but can be heard freestyling on King magazine's annual mix tape, available next month. (Courtesy of Nydailynews)

*Mouth drops in awe*

Now who in their right mind would let this chick of all people record anything on wax? Who the hell would let Karrine touch their microphone with those lips? If Karrine "Spits" she can literally make the whole state of Michigan feel her (Pun intended). She could populate a whole generation of peen (Crunk Lingo) sucking people who will one day grow up and want to be like her. You have to sit and ask yourself if we really wanna hear about someones booty butt bone being busted open again (No Big Tigger intended). I can just see it now, a rare form of flesh eating disease breaking out just because of touching the cover or her CD. It's fooleywang i tell ya!

If Karrine SuperSlobb is coming out with a CD then you should look for "Smackin and Smashin Cantaloupe's by me coming 2009. My first single is going to be You Don't Know Who I Be Ft. Kelly Rowland, Amil, Ideal, Sunshine Anderson and the other Braxton sister.

IT'S OFFICIAL!

C-Murder Cant Attend

C-Murder, C-Miller or whatever his name is today, has been slammed again by the judge who is basically his meal ticket if he goes back to jail for the murder of a 16 year old boy. C-Murder recently requested to be freed from his house arrest, temporarily of course. C-Murder like so many other entertainers wanted permission to drive to Port Arthur, Texas to partake in the memorial that will be Chad "Pimp-C" Butler's funeral tomorrow 12/13/07. He also wanted to stop and see his kids while out of town like any other normal father on house arrest would. (How is that normal?)


Now the judge may have granted C-Murder the out of town trip to Texas but i guess seeing the kids was just too much for them because they denied the whole request. What did they think he would run off again and buy smoothies and ice cream floats without their permission? I don't think there is another movie of the Hurricane Katrina disaster is there? Just because he snuck off and gave an interview during the screening of the movie last time when he was supposed to be on house arrest doesn't mean he will do it again. I think he learned his lesson because being part of the No Limit era back in the 90's makes him way more of a legend than someone like G-Depp anyway right?

Give the man some credit because anybody who has been charged with murder and still has the nerve to call themselves C-Murder is strong in my opinion..........Or so they say!

IKE Turner is dead

"TMZ has confirmed that music legend and the former Mr. Anna Mae Bullock has died. He was 76.Turner apparently died in his home in San Marcos, Calif., just outside of San Diego.Sources close to the family tell TMZ he may have died in his sleep.TMZ caught up with the R&B star back in May after the legend spent a night in jail after his bogus arrest over a recalled 1989 warrant. Ike was married four times, most famously to Tina Turner. The famous singing duo had seven top ten R&B songs and famously divorced in 1978 amidst his constant abuse towards her. Ike has four known children: sons Ike Jr., Michael, Ronald and daughter Mia. A rep for Tina Turner has not returned our request for comment." (Courtesy of TMZ)

I don't have anything outlandish to say about this right now but i guess a RIP would be in order!

Just Like You

If you were like me last night you were strangely glued to BET trying to watch the season finale of Keyshia Cole's season 2 of The Way It Is. Now we were supposed to find out if some dude from Oakland was supposed to be Keyshia's biological father. You can look at him and tell the answer was no! Even Frankie (Keyshia's mom) said she never slept with him. Now one would note that you can never trust a crackhead to hold your umbrella while you're taking your baby out the car because they will someone how find a way to get high through the handle. But in this case, she was right about this one. *Queue's Maury's You Are Not The Father voice*

Now Keyshia does have an attitude problem no doubt but after watching this show, I have some what of a new found respect for her as a person! If i had to go through all of that yelling and crying within the same sentence I too would dye my hair blonde and move to an alligator infested pond where i would be sure no one would come and visit me. I'm wondering if they will make a season 3 out of this show? I think they should and this time it should include Young Jeezy. You wouldn't have to worry about any crying in that series because the whole dialogue would be nothing but bleeps like an episode of "My teenager slaps me because i told her to make up her bed" on Maury with an occasional Yeaaaahhhhh and that's riiiiiggghhhttt from Jeezy.

BET.....You need to get on this one.

Visions Of Lil Bow-Mari coming soon

..........*looks around* Ok I am not even going to begin to go where my mind was trying to take me after looking at this picture. Lloyd II (see picture below) seems to be trying to convince Bow Wow to run away with him and take up MJ's invitiation to help rebuild Neverland Ranch. Will he go for it? I'm pretty sure its a done deal already.

Anyway the pair were actually celebrating the release of their new joint adventure called Face Off. I'm really glad they decided to change the cover for this cd because this was not a good look at all. It looks like what happens when you let a 6 year old play with windows media maker.

They seem to be having a lot of fun at this event needless to say and even though they look like the poster kids for wallpaper at Michael Jackson's house, it's good to see 2 artists get together and combine school yard rap with a little bit of baby hair crooning. I for one just hope this doesnt turn out like some other clowns who tried to head down this road before which left one peppered sprayed and the other spending his 67th birthday alone *Side eyes Jay and Kells*

Now as for this I have no comment!

True Definition Of A "Boot Licker"

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I've always seen clips of this but i've never actually saw where it originated from....until now. This has got to be the craziest, most painful thing I have ever seen. Two questions, why did he come out the chimney, and what did she do to deserve to get kicked in the face like she was a roach on the wall at the Knowles' house?

I for one think that Anna Mae Bullock could of used this dude for a number of reasons.

(Thanks Bex! from my C+D fam!)